I know what I like to do….everything….and people who say there is always enough time for everything; don’t really know what everything means. Today, everything means I want to do pottery, paint in my art studio….which is a complete mess….I want to unpack ALL those boxes, organize ALL the contents, have the time to read through ALL those old books then write about how wonderful it ALL was. But my day will end soon and I will have to pick up children from their different schools and daycares. Then, I have to do everything for everyone else…yes, I know, I don’t HAVE TO; they are old enough to start doing things, but really, I do want a relationship with my children and hiding in my studio, pouring over "Notes To Myself" by Hugh Prather, isn’t really relationship building. So, let me add “have relationships” to the list of things I want to do. I also want to make an awesome supper, and have a spotless kitchen. And all of this must happen now.
So I’m trying to do all of the above. Exhausted (of course) because my mind wants to do more than my body (and time) will allow. As I unpack and organize all the items of one box, I hold the book, Notes to Myself, and sit down….time to pour over Hugh Prather’s words. I open the book to page….? There are no pages in his book, but there is a bookmark marking a passage that reads, “There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach….To force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me.” Ta-da! My thoughts in someone else’s book!
I’m becoming okay with wanting to do everything because I realize there is a large need for what I do. People want to buy my art (I’m having technical difficulties with my art website…ugh, that is something I do not want to do…but I WILL have a website for my art soon.). When I read, I gain new perspectives on THINGS and bring so much more to my parenting classes, parents need that. Most parents don’t have the time and don’t want to read and sift through all of the crazy information out there. I LOVE doing it and I LOVE presenting concepts and watching the a-ha’s in everyone’s faces. I love to teach. I love to support my children, I even like making supper for them (as long as they’re not whining and complaining!). And I want to support other people’s children. There is a huge need for an alternate form of daycare, lots of moms (and some dads) are at home with children and just want to get out and introduce their children to something meaningful. Not the noisy community centres with the structured activities that allow for no creativity. Come to my house, you can do whatever you want, with the security of knowing that the interactions and choice of activities are interlaced with a sweet theme that promotes social emotional learning.
I’ve forgotten about that. The theme! I’ve been so busy looking for myself and “my element” as Ken Robinson refers to it, that I forgot to just be me and just do what it is I do. I used to write a phrase on the blackboard, our theme of the week, and we’d all talk about it. In the coming week (in my home) I’ll introduce the theme of “finding your element”. My kids are not too young to start being mindful of the activities they enjoy. This will lead them to better career choices in the future.
So much to do….so little time….And I know, I don’t have to do it all right now. And I know, life will take me in so many different direction and it’s all okay. I love the fact that my life is not linear. As Ken Robinson writes in “Finding Your Element”, Life is organic, “My life, like yours, is a constant process of improvisation between my interest and personality on the one hand and circumstances and opportunities on the other.”